(And That’s Why My Reviews Are Brutally Honest)
You ever see one of those movies where the main character zones out, and suddenly a thousand glowing charts, maps, and floating images appear mid-air?
Yeah… that’s my brain.
Except I’m not solving quantum physics in a high-tech lab — I’m standing in a hotel bathroom calculating:
• Is the toilet paper too scratchy for neurodivergent skin?
• Will this fan noise trigger a sensory meltdown… or be the white noise of my dreams?
• Does the shower have decent water pressure but zero grip — AKA a slippery death trap?
• Is that smell lemon fresh… or lemon chemical warfare?
• Will the lighting give me a migraine?
• Will I cry if this bed is too firm?
• Can I actually use the access ramp, or is it just there for show?
Welcome to my world.
I’m autistic, observant, analytical, and brutally honest — not by choice, just by default. I’ve always seen the details most people miss. The pros and cons. And then the pros of the cons. And the cons of the pros. And the “what ifs” that turn pros into cons if X, Y, or Z happens. And yes — I’ve got a backup plan if that con-of-a-pro becomes another con that leads to an unexpected pro.
It’s like if a decision tree and a crime investigation wall had a baby. With yarn. In 4D. That updates in real time.
It’s hard to explain, but somehow it all makes perfect sense in my head.
This is how I move through the world. Every situation becomes a flowchart. Every outing, hotel, idea, thought, word, event, or product gets analyzed. Not because I want to overthink — I just do.
But here’s the upside: if you’re neurodivergent, sensitive to sensory input, or just want the honest, real-world breakdown before spending money or stepping out the door — I’ve already done the thinking for you. I’ve charted and graphed it and then reanalyzed it.
Here’s the thing:
I don’t just review things because it’s fun (though I do love a good Excel chart).
I do it because:
• I know how hard it is to find places that work for people like me.
• I want to make travel easier for autistic and disabled people.
• And let’s be honest — I’d be an amazing consultant if someone ever paid me.
But until then, I’ll be here — testing products, paddling new lakes, checking the soap smell at every hotel I visit, and telling you exactly what works, what doesn’t, and what I wish someone had told me before I booked it.
Because you deserve honest, detailed reviews.
And I literally can’t not notice this stuff.

